HI MATE, BRETT HERE.

This is where you come to read about my doings, obiously. You can learn how much money I made, and if I am going to be near your area to help you out. Probably not, so don't get your hopes too high, sorry.

-=UPDATE-= Hello

Hello

Today I am a bit busy and now I'm a bit bored

I am in the lounge before watching the TV, There is only bad shows on the TV though, so I wonder what it is like to have the TELEVISION pointed down (into the carpet) -the front bit with the screen will be pointed into the carpet, mate. I DO THIS! I get the BIG TV (My dad is rich) and I put it on the carpet in this way so its pointing down! its really heavy but no drops today tahnkfully

It looks like a big wooden boxe! You can't see whats happening, and the people sound like theyve had socks for dinner! While I'm having fun with this my dad comes in and hes A BIT ROPEABLE! but he is happy once he sees 'no damage done' thankfully. He says to me 'your DISENFRANCHISED BRETT!!!! and the TV goes onto the list of the things I am not allowed to touch on the fridge. Its OK though I can use the REMOTE CONTROLLER to change the TV to show the shows that are good, so no harm done as long as mum or someone will turn it on in the first place naturally.

I also can touch still the VCR - (video player machine) so tahts a bonus because I will watch the real ghostbusters.

I turn the VCR to point UP so that the video will pup up out the top like a spicy piece of toast when I push eject, but instead it makes GRIND GRIND GRIND GRINDDD sound "GDDRRRRRR". It is on the list now too.

Sinecerly,

Brett

-=UPDATE-= this is what happened tonight, I did my research

this is a news report from the kitchen and my research and Im sorry

Yes, it is my turn to do the dishes tonight I KNOW DAD so I put the dishwasher on, but instead of cleaning them it BAKED the grease and chicken onto the plates because I forgot to put the DISHPILL into the washer! I FORGOT! STOP YELLING AT ME!

AND THE DOGES ARE SO HARD TO MAKE WORK IM CRYING GO AWAY GO AWAY

-=UPDATE-= Special for you, every day

This is special for you

HI Mate, HOW ARE YOU? You look like you lost a few kilos! OH WAIT, now I see them, they're strapped to your GUT!
Sorry to joke you but were friends its alright.

Today is a special day for us all, absolutery. This is because its a MAGIcal music time update, with me providing the entertainment for us all. Dont go to rock the barbershop though, because this is happening out of your computer, dont even get up mate, sit back and reliax.
I have heard a great good song thats fun, GOOGLE gave it to me to APOLOGISE. It was being a bit rude to me when I was SEARCHING ITS STUFF for things, it was giving me rude YOU SPELLED IT WRONGO SPELL IT LIKE THAT MATE messages, what rudeness a man in the street wouldnt talk to me like that. SO I TELL google "I HATE YOU!!"! and it realises its sorry and gave me a song. This is a song about HATING PEOPLE WITH BIG FEET, something we can all get behind and push.

- - - songtime test

whats sthe matter trtiwh you boy
 MY FEETS TOO BIG!
bab yayo ybnaba babo baoabo bnoa bnaom lela\
NO MEET ON MY BNONES ANO SUN UP AATOP
OH MAN MEY FEETS TOO BIG!

 - - - Thats a free sampler

I wrote it out from listening to the song its hard to keep up though. Brett's hint- dont sing so fast.
When IM WALKIN IN THE STREET, when I see someone with big feets (larger than two banansa), I sing the song to them for their entertainment, but its hard to remember all the words in the song, so I just sing "I HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU BOW BOWB BOW."

This song has it all, a man talking and a man singing, some music and someone singing.

Here's the soung, "On the house" but dont get used to it ok...
BUT IF YOUR A PLOICEMAN OR a POLICEWOMAN please shut down your speakers for your computer and go into the next room for five or seven minuts and also shut the door. (This is becuase google gave me the song just for me, and if you listen to it and a policeman tells google, google will be a bit cut). Gogole, your OK but you are a FLIGHTY FRIEND.

AS IN EVERYDAY LIFE, YOU HAVE TO CLICK TO MAKE THE MUSIC

PLUS Doges solution does not want to work I am going to ask my couisn, hes the sharpest knive in the drawer, he helped me make a PICTURE and a RESUME and he tought me how to use the bathroom with no mess.

(I used to make too much mess, every time, but not any more, so lets not DWELL on it, "the past is a strange fruit, its probably not good to eat"

BYE

-=UPDATE-=OBIN WILLIAMSI HATE ROBIN WILLIAMSI HATE ROBIN WILLIAMS

I am still trying to make the dogs work keep your pants on

=UPDATE, DOGS DOGS NO WORRIES-=

=UPDATE, to help you through your TROUBLES-=

HEllo Mate!! Brett Graham here, invading your personal face as usual. No, don't worry mate thats just a saying. Today I am here to help you with your problems becuase we all know some of you arenot very good.

Yes well heres THE SECRET TO SUCCESS -=-It is to BE EFFICENT AND ALWAYS fINISH WHAT YOU START, YOU IDIOT. My dad taught me this lesson because I like SANDWITHCES! I make many a dozen sandwichtes, everyday. I cut them into halves becuase this sneaky move gives me a double sandwicht instead of just one. (there are two pieaces of sandwich now).

But sometimes I get busy with something else before I have time to eat all of my sandwith. Like (A cat the television, making a lot of newspaper men with sissors, lots of other things too.) So bits and parts of my FOODSTUFF get put in places everywhere, its true. Then when me dad OR THE VCR REPAIRMAN find a secret sandwich around the place they get a BIT WOUND UP. "THATS WHY THE VIDEO NOT PLAY!" THey yell "I trip on the one in the toilet!!!' My dad sits me down for a serouse talk. 'Irght bretto, he says "I dont care if you are go into my clothes cupborerd, you can go in tehere if you want.but don't ever take food in there thats not on. "Food is eaten in the kitcken or outside remember this. ALSO - - """"The Secret Of Success Is To ALways finish Waht You Start So Eat All Of Your SAndwich at Once Brett, And Dont Ever Hide Them ABout The House ANYMORE!"""" - - - These are true wisdoms, so you read and understand it well, thats what its all about. BYE

-=UPDATE from the land-=

BYE

=-UPDATE stop emailing me to be rude to my dad, he is an importent person-=

My dad is a systems analynist.  He is bascially a science doctor, but instead of people to make better, he is in charge of making the computers all work like they should and never not do what they sholdnt, its pretty complicated I know, I can't rememeber all the nonesence he jabbers at me about his job. I ask him, "IS IT A FUN JOB DAD!" and he loosens his tie and drinks a water colour VODKA drink and says its borings and stressfull like watching me eat a baked pototoe with a knive and fork. WELL YOU SHOULD GET MUM TO CUT IT UP FOR ME DAD.

=-UPDATE with my dad, too-=This is seven days ago I think, Last friday anyway

Well, me and my dad were watching the Music Videos in televsion tonight, and there were lots of tapes that were GREAT. one came on by FATSLOYBIM, who made a music video called "LETHAL MEAPON 3 WEAPON OF CHOICE" I think, I cant remember it was late. I liked it a lot and my dad liked it much too, he said it had CHRISTOFER WALKEN in it, doing a dance, here I made a copy of it so you can watch it too if you dont have a tv., ok here it is.

Now youve watched it, when the pollice ring you up on the telephone tell them you don;t know me. I don't want to get in trouple with the police about COPYRIGHT INFRANGEMENT. OK,

While we watched it my dad told me things about it and drank a couple of brown SCOTCHES. He says that CHRISTOPHER WALKEN is a good actor and people listen to his opinions. He said that the music video is actually footage taken from security cameras in a hotel and not made by a dance directer. He said that at the start, when CHRISPTOER WALKEN heasrs the song and likes it, and starts doing good dances, there are about seven other security camera recordings where he doesn't like the song and destroys the hotel by spinning about into things and smashing bits and peices all night. My dad drank some scotch from his glass and said that CHRIsptoepr Walkin is a stern character and that if I ever met him I shold not try any of my nonesence because he would NOT STAND FOR IT.

I hope I never meet CHRISTOFER WALKEN.

=-SPECIAL MENU UPDATE!-=This week

Hi mates! SPECIAL MENU UPADATE FOR YOU! HEre is my menu if I had a restuarernt (a bit of WHIMSY, my dad says)::

 =- =- ENTERTREEE - = - = -

THE ENTEREE IS FISH!

 =- =-= - STARETER! = - - =`= - =

GARLIC BREAD OF COURSE!

=- =- = - MAINS -= -= - =- = -=

MEAT!

It is a steak or some mutton (from sheeps because UNUSUAL=SPECIAL for you)

with vegetables of fruit, naturally in butter

 =- =- =- DESSERT - = - =- =- =-

SOME LEMON PIE OR A STRUDELL!

your choice

***

I am a ""demon in the kitchen"" tonight becvause I have visited a very fine and fancy restastuent with my parents this fine evening, thankyou. -BY THE WAY please dont use my restuaraunt ideas, or else there will be CONSEQUINCES! They're my ideas get yourown you KFC man.-

Yes, I went to a restauruatent, my parents took me along tonight because I have been double good and not made ANYTHING wet this week (a sizeable challange). The restaruatant was in LYGON st and it was an ITALI?AN restaurant, that means that they serve the spicy food of italy and they sometimes have a mousatechehe. We had the SPAGETIE and I had a serve of LASGANGNYA. Very tasty, but a man spilled his water on my elbow while I was eating, oh well, not my fault this time. We ate until there was no more food, and then we had dessert,s.

The dessert for me was an delicious APPEL STRUDEL, and my parents didn tot have dessert becasue they said wataching me eat made them QWEEZY. Well, I was delivered my strudel by a waiter and I bit it large with my mouth and spoon. It tasted DELICOUS I TRIED TO EAT IT FAST to increase the taste of course. While I did this My DAD made a joke and said that because of the way I was eating it it should be called appel RUDE-l not appel strudel,!

After I understood I laughted VERY LOUD and there waqs some strudel that the noise of my laughter knocked out of my throat and it flew in the air onto someone else at an nother near-by table. Well, they complained to the waiter that I ""vomit on them"". My parents ended up paiying for their meal and said sorry, but no more restaruarnats for me for seven months, my dad says.

=-UPDATE-=Today

Hi there, lots of exciting BRETT NEWS for you to understand today, many doings and happenings done by me for you to look up to, and don't you forget it! BECAUSE TODAY I WENT TO THE CITY / SUPERMARKET and thats not for everyday because dad doesn't like to take me along. noramally, I dont go to the shops with him because he says that I get OVERSIMULATED and make things go WRONG and that I wee the chair on the bus because I saw a barking dog out the window once and it scared me. but thats nonesensce on his behalf because today I went with him because my tutor cuoldnt come today because my dad said that SHES SICK OF MY STROPPIES. He says this with his hands wacing in the air and a joke in his mouth no doubts, mate don't you worryy.

So we go to the city in the speeding car alright, and my dad says while we are at the stops, 'DO WHAT I SAY BRETT AND DONT TOUCH ANYTHING and WE CANT BUY ALL THOSE FROZEN FOODS WITH PICTURES ON. OKAY? OK DAD WHATEVER WE ARE GOING SHOPPING ARE WE?

So we are shpong at the safeway in the shops and I get in the cart to ride a bit but it falls onto the side lucky we had just started (hadnot found any food yet) so no mess. People all look and secretly clap while my dad puts the cart back onto its right side. 'dont do that brett' he suggests to me---- SUGGESTION DENIeD i suggest to myself but I dont get back in because he pinches me hard when I try. ""Thats a rude move"" I scream out but he pretends tonnot ear.

We buy the vegtables and FRUITS which roll around in the cart, then we buy some CERAIALS, and some meats, and some dogfood cans, and some eggs and some BUTTER and some milk and buisciots and then a cheese and then some pineabble because I asked polietely.

-- BRETTS HINT = POliteness is a reward in inteslf, try being polite and people will give you pinbeables apleanty.--

As we do the shopping, I see many delicious foods that it wouid be stupid not to buy, look at the pictures mmmmmmmm. When I sneak them into the trolley (MALLTEASERS, FROZEN LASAGNEYA ETCETERA) and my dad finds them, he takes them out and tells me that they are not good healthy food. He obviously doesnt understand science and the way the mouth works, the MOUTH tells the BODY what is delicious and the BODY tells the BRaIN that its healthy so natrualy it is you dont lie to yourself. so I keep putting the good foods with pictures into the shop cart. Then wen he finds the next one he helps me understand that its no good by telling me that it would be MORE HEALTHY to eat the dogfoods than that food. THATS DOGFOOD! he roares every time he finds another one. THATS DOGFOOD! then throws the food away onto a shelve. This helps me to understand, so I stop. Thanks dad for helping everyone to understand, you should all listen to advice, naturally, thats whats its all about.

=-UPDATE-=this is tommorrow, before the real ghostbusters video I'm going to watch when IGON shoots the dynamo with his proton pack and stops the ghosts (ive seen it before its a good one, alright)

Hello again, Brett here. my dad has told me to tell you that you should never use an 'electric knive' (thats what theyre called) for cutting hams unless your not an adult, theyre very dangerous. OK we learnt. dont do it again, I told you so.

=-UPDATE-=this is today, in the daytime

Hi again, how are you, I am brett.

Last week I was in the kitchen when I had an idea occur to me= HAM SANDWICH. Normally I'm  not allowed to make my own foods because of what happens, but right then my dad had gone to hire people to fix the living room, so I was Home Alone. I had had to promise dad to stay in the TVroom and watch the real ghostbusters, but I BENT my promise into including the kitchen because I am hungery.

But back to my storey. HAM SANDWICHES are made up of several ingderiants. First, there is the bread, and ham naturally, then there are other things you can put in there that arent in the name. These indgediants are the backup, in case the ham falls out. You can put in beetroot, lettuce, mustarad, tomaoto, anything you want as backups. CHEESE is good, I always tell them to put cheese in too.

Well, we had some ham of course because otherwise I wouldnt be making a ham sandwich. But the ham we had, it was the bad kind of ham thats all together into a big meat, with a bone stuck in it? You have to cut the slice hams off it, its nonsence. I had the bread and cheese (the GOOD kind of cheese that is already sliced and the GOOD kind of bread that is already sliced.) I hit the large ham with my knive, but instead of slicing, a big chunk jumped out. it wasnot suitable for a sandwhich, too LARGE thanks.

""This is a fine disgrace I said", wisely to myself, and got the Electronic meat trimmer that old people use on the turnkeys and the hams at christmas. This is an amanzing science blade that dad never lets me touch. It's is hard to explain over the internet to you, but you know what a chainsaw is (yes you do, theyre in moveis all the time), well this is like a little chainsaw at the size of a knive. It plugs into the electricity faucets in the walls with a wire, and when you turn it on it goes BRRRRR and cuts meats like a HOT KNIVE THROUGH BUTTER! this is what i needed, I was very clever to think of it. I will go and find it later  I am too busy updating this now okay.

=-UPDATE-=this is after my meal tonight, before i have to go to sleep(until tomorrow naturally),

Hello again, how are you.

To responce to my parent's pressures I had to make something to explain about what I have been doing. This is what I have been doing on my away from home time. It is called fruit mystery. IT is a flash game. Normally this little beurty would cost you one thousand dollars to play. (REFER TO MY PRICING STRUCURE PLEASE MATE). But because for obvious reasons, you can play it for free for to day only.

This is fruit mystery. (HERE)

goodbye

=-UPDATE-=Tuesday

HI TOM RITCHIE! SORRY but my dad says that youre a bad influence on me so I can't set paint of fire with you any more. Maybe we can watch a television show and tell people about it at the train station? I don't know.

OKAY BYE.

=-UPDATE-=weekend

Hello, old friend. Brett here.

I remember my weekend well, thanks. I didn't update any of my pages, because I was doing other things allright? I went on some trips to the ZOO. I went there on my own once because my teacher went to the toilet andshe couldn't take me into the WOMANS toilets for blatant reasons (I AM BRETT GRAHAM). I left the toilet area when she was busy with the toilets because I had things to do, I had a full day and did meet many animals and fun. After I got brought home again to my dad he was a bit angrey. I had to eat the cerals instead of a dinner. NOT BAD though, I put lots of sugar on them and they were quite tastey. Too bad for you, That's my secret recipe and so please don't use it.

Bye,

From Brett.

=-UPDATE-=last wednesdy,

Oh hi mate what do you do today? You watched television football and ate souvlakis didn't you. What did I do? I MADE A WEB PAGE OBVIOUSLY YOUR READING IT. It took me theee months...This is my job now, I have only been in the computer buisness a week and already I have a man hire me to make a big internet webpage for a man who rode his car off a house and died. (The man who is hiring me isn't that dead man, he is the friend of the man who rode his car off a roof (a dangerous profession), I think he must have been extreme.)). My dad gave me this job, he got it off the man in the internet. it will pay me one hundred dollars (very reasonable sum,) You Will Notice that I am a professional web desiner, so don't email me anymore thanks, I'm too busy. My dad also hired me to make this web page for myeslf, so I have a good repeat customer in him. That is two hundred all up I'm afraid, and now my dad will have to buy me what I want when I want.

IN PERSONAL NEWS I HAD SOME RED ITCHES ON MY ZONE.

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